(Sub)Total

This box of cereal has been sitting on the table for the last few days. As if my kids’ warm-intended tagging wasn’t disturbing enough, the picture of the power walker has been fnording me. Not only is she exercising barefoot, she also lacks a head. It’s probably because of calcium deficiency. (Oh, my!)


The cereal tastes like frosted wheat flakes, which makes sense given the second ingredient is indeed sugar. The third ingredient, the yogurt coating, consists of: sugar, palm kernel oil, dextrose, dried nonfat yogurt, corn starch, soy lecithin, nonfat milk, “natural flavor,” and lactic acid.
The remaining ingredients filling out the “12 vitamins and minerals” are similar to those in the Oat Bran cereal I looked at three years ago. So, I guess I’m back to wanting a bowl of Uncle Sam, liquid yogurt, and fresh berries. If I needed more calcium (which is doubtful given my cheese and milk consumption, I can take a Tums which, wouldntchaknow, is the same major calcium source in Total?

3 thoughts on “(Sub)Total”

  1. Yeah, that headless thing is fnordsome. It’s not just like she’s obstructed by the awesomeness of the Total logo; there is no head there whatsoever. Methinks Washington Irving has changed his tone to one warning of calcium deficiency…

  2. She’s barefoot so that you would understand that, while she’s dressed like your typical jogging soccer-mom trotting her way to yoga class, she’s natural. If she wasn’t eating the sugar coated stuff, she’d be home in her Birkenstocks making some homemade granola. As far as headlessness goes, I imagine the company is saving money because the royalty they pay for every reproduction of a headless body is far less than if she had a face. Either that, or it is the client’s girlfriend, and she’s hideous. My father worked all his life in advertising, so I’ll bet it’s the latter.

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