Stereotype about Boston drivers ahoy

Oh. My. Bat-shit crazy lunatic maniacs in semi-control of two ton death hammers.

How to make a right turn, Boston style:

  1. Maintain your poker face. Don’t slow down.  Don’t make a sideways glance.  DO NOT touch the stick on the left side of the steering column.
  2. Slam on your brakes.
  3. Make a w-i-i-i-d-e turn.

Entering one of the ten thousand roundabouts? Accelerate as hard as possible.  It’s a party, and everyone’s invited.

Don’t let the tourists win: change lanes constantly.  (N.B. “Lanes” are a theoretical construct.  If you believe in the magic invisible fairy lines, they’ll be there.)

If the light turns red, only five more cars are allowed through the intersection.

At least they don’t honk and gesticulate.

3 thoughts on “Stereotype about Boston drivers ahoy”

  1. It’s the only way to get around all the construction. The Big Dig has been going on for what, 10 years now? And now they discover they’re going to have to do a bunch of it over because [shock of shocks!] there was graft in the contract process…

    There’s a reason with respect to driving habits people from New Hampshire refer to them as Massh**les.

  2. My only trip to Boston was a visit on a cross country driving adventure with a friend. We pointed to a parking garage that was catercorner from us, and asked a local how to actually navigate to it, since the flow of traffic from our position went the opposite way. As he started to explain, someone walking by interjected- “Don’t tell them, they are from California!”

    He stopped talking, grinned, shrugged his shoulders, and continued on his way without another word.

  3. The last time I was in the area I kept this mantra going in my mind: “I’m in a rental car. I’m in a rental car. I’m in a rental car.”

    This allowed me to transcend any caring about the vehicle I was driving and use it alternatively as a weapon, blockade, tank and race car. Merging lanes? #$%* you I’m in a rental car, so I just pushed my nose into the single lane. I need to move over a lane and the guy won’t move?. #$(% you I don’t care if the paint on my car gets scratched. And so on.

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *