Netflix totally rocks but I’ve just cancelled my subscription.
Huh?, you wonder. Well, it’s Spring, and now that the
days are officially and noticably longer than the nights, I’m
going to be spending any discretionary time I can outside.
Yeah, I know I can just hold onto the three movies forever,
but the temptation would be too great, and I would get even
less sleep than I’m receiving now. I’ll restart the subscription
again in September.
Last year when I did this, Netflix preserved my ratings, but wiped out
my my queue. Before cancelling, I saved a copy of my queue, currently
north of 100+ movies. I also looked at the list of 72 movies I rented
during the previous six months.
Of those movies, the absolute worst was Adaptation, a movie about a writer who has to adapt a plotless book to a screenplay. Oh, it’s self-referential! And it’s got Nicholas Cage! And some guy at NPR gushed at its self-referential cleverness with Nicholas Cage. My wife wisely gave up on it after 20 minutes but I was sucked into the cinematic death spiral. Every time I thought there was going to be a point, it proved me wrong… then as I reached for the eject button, there was a furtive suggestion of humor. Look, just because I wasted 90 minutes of my life on this turkey doesn’t mean you have to.
Adaptation narrowly edged out Dr Seuss’ Cat in the Hat. I should have remembered Debbie fell asleep, but I didn’t. Ugh.
Among the disappointments:Holes – I dunno, I thought this one was going to be funnier (Henry Winkler, shoe deodorizer, … come on, work with me here) or creepier (obsessively digging in the desert) or both. It just kind of went on and on and on and on. This was another NPR review gusher, which should tell me something about NPR movie reviewers…Lost in Translation — Maybe it’s because I haven’t traveled to Japan, but with Bill Murray, I was expecting 80% more wisecracks.American Movie — When I was working on the Holiday A-List, I saw Michael Stipe listed this as one of his favorite/wishlist movies. It’s certainly got humor value, but I wasn’t in the mood to sit through Blair Witch meets Real World meets The Producers.The Secret of Roan Inish — This was too strange.
Movies that I expected to suck, but weren’t that bad:
Star Trek: Nemesis — Given the way this thing Titanicked in the box office, I had extremely low expectations, with my hand poised on the eject button. It wasn’t that horrible, but it’s clear that I’ve outgrown Star Trek movies.Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle — This was eye-candy with its non-stop action, lightweight plot, gratuitous Crispin Glover, and gadgets. You can see how much The Matrix has influenced cinema.The Crocodile Hunter: Collision Course — Crikey! Lots of (animal) poop humor, and Steve Irwin’s raw enthusiam is a big plus. The subplot with the US government agents trying to recover the satellite was worth skipping through. Indeed, all of the deleted scenes on the DVD were for this arc, the most bizarre was the “embassy” clip reminiscent of the 1980s Val Kilmer box office smash (cough) Top Secret!.
Movies I enjoyed:Bend it Like Beckham — a very cute coming-of-age movie that made soccer seem exciting. Its subplot might be titled My (Sister’s) Big Fat Indian Wedding.Ocean’s Eleven — Ocean’s Eleven was a fun, date movie, with the playfulness of The Sting. Brad Pitt has some fun roles, too. I especially liked him in Twelve Monkeys and (there is no) Fight Club. I’m concerned that they’re planning a sequel, Ocean’s Twelve.Apocalypse Now Redux — I hadn’t seen the original, but do appreciate its masterpiece. The added scenes didn’t contribute much to the overall movie, and seemed surprising that so much time was spent shooting them.Hudsucker Proxy — This is an older film about a chairman who wants to drive the business in the ground so he can acquire all the stock cheaply. He puts the dingiest mailroom clerk in charge. The imagery reminds me a bit of Brazil. There is some influence for Office Space.